“Maybe not, but you could stop being a stuck-up bitch.” She stares, wide mouthed. I avert my eyes, keeping them on the road. “Would you rather I said you looked like a slut?” “Why say anything at all?” “Just making conversation.” “Well don’t.” Long straight road ahead, foot down, hand moves from gear stick, lands on black nylon. “What are you doing?” “Not making conversation.” “Well don’t.” “Would you rather walk home?” “Just don’t touch me; don’t talk to me.” Fingers begin to slide, sensing nylon and lithe skin beneath. “Sorry, the ride now comes at a price.” “I’ve got money. How much do you want?” “I don’t want your money.” “Then what?” Nylon against fingertips, ardour rising. “Show me your tits.” “Are you crazy?” Foot on brake. Bodies tilt forwards, held by seatbelts. Fingers leave nylon. “Do you want to walk home?” She stares; mouth opens and shuts. Opens again. Closes. Opens. “You bastard.” “Sticks and stones.” I smile. “Are you gonna show me your tits or just get out?” “You. We pored over the ads from others traveling ahead of us on the path to this exciting ruination. They didn't seem to be guilt-ridden sinners or hell bent hedonists. They looked just like us but wearing a lot less clothes and obviously having a lot more fun.We carefully crafted a brief ad, twenty five words or less. Chose an anonymous picture of Karen, showing all her best parts-and she has some really good best parts-but with her face descretely turned away. Pictures were the hard part, we didn't want pictures that would pass before the eyes of the high school girl working part-time at PhotoMat. Polaroid was our saviour.We fucked like bunnies at every step of the way. Read some ads-fuck. Take some pictures-fuck. Write some ad copy-fuck. Pick out a picture-fuck. Who ever said "getting there is half the fun" doesn't know the half of it. We finally went public. Once we dropped that envelope in the mail slot at the post office, we were in for a penny. The pound would take weeks of.
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